Zuck Kids..

Here are some pictures I took of my adorable nieces and nephew. It has been such a blessing to be able to spend these last couple of months with them... can't believe it is almost over! Times goes by so fast.

Do you ever get the sense that the thing you really desire isn't really what you want? The past couple of days I have come to the conclusion that I just want to encounter the Lord. I want to witness Him. I want my own story. I think about all the things I think I desire and I realize that they mean nothing next to Him. How can I continually abide in Him? How can I hear the things He is speaking to me? I hate how I become overwhelmed with my worries. This is not the Lord I serve. He brings peace. My worries deal with my control. It isn't about Him. It is about me. And my control. My fear to really let go and see what He does. He promises He supplies everything I need. Yet I don't believe it. I want my life to reflect the goodness and power of the Lord. And so maybe the things I think I desire are still about control? I want to live a life where He has to show up and yet it is the very thing I fear. I want it and I don't. Is my need to encounter the Lord greater than my dependence on self and comfort? I pray it is.

Love never fails. I have felt failed a lot by love, but then so has Jesus. And he didn't let that dictate his own love towards others. It seemed to make him love them only more. If only my heart would beat with such love that I care not what happens to me any longer but rather dare to love as he does. With no expectations of it in return. Only the need to lavish it on any breathing human being.

Godly Men don't like...

This past weekend I got to talk to my sister Ashlea. She was telling me about the things she has been learning over the past two weeks. They had a relationships session. And there was one thing she said that really made me laugh.

"Godly men don't like cleavage."

Now they were discussing how to be pure and holy. And also how to honor one another. So ladies put away that cleavage! How it made me chuckle but how true it is. Recently the Lord and I have been having lots of discussions about marriage. It seems it is something I am always handing over to him. Because by now if I were in charge I would have had me married and perhaps a couple of babies. But alas I am on God's schedule. It is sad to think so many girls just throw away their purity in hopes of catching a man. When I think about the kind of man I hope to marry; it is true... I hope he doesn't like cleavage. That is not the kind of guy I am looking for. So why would I ever sell myself in order to get something I don't even want or maybe isn't for me? It can be hard to be patient. Sometimes it even makes me angry the way he makes me wait! But I want nothing less than His best for me. And so I wait. And I will wait honoring myself and the Lord with my body and actions. Besides I think the person God has for me will probably be far better than someone I "catch" on my own. He will make it happen. So stop worrying ladies and start living lives that are pleasing to our Father. Lets behave as His daughters! Setting our focus on Him is the best thing we can do for ourselves and for our future mate.

The heart of God is a wide open expanse just waiting to be discovered. I have recently ventured to Arizona to spend some time with my older sister Laura. I think of the verse from Hosea: "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her."

Arizona is definitely a desert and I believe this is one of the reasons He has brought me here. I have seemed to lost my passion, my focus for the Father's heart. How easily I rise in the morning and forget Him. The God that gave me breath and rescued me from death. I become so entangled with the world and follow lesser lovers. Lovers that come and steal away my soul bit by unknowingly bit. I am tired of succumbing! I realize that I do not know the Father's heart at all. I have misconceived notions about him. And the moments He wishes to speak tenderly to me I am usually distracted by lesser things. Yet He still comes and comes and comes back for me. He does not stop pursuing. What a love He holds for me, for everyone. Even in my distracted, depraved, selfish ways He never relents. I am appalled by my lack of response! Yet it isn't His nature to push His love on me. He offers it and I have the option of accepting. Oh, but how deep his love is and how limitless. My idea of love is blown apart by His. I love Him only because He has first loved me. But what kind of love is it? Would I recognize it? To understand His love in return ignites my love and passion for him. Jesus show me this love in your heart. I need it. This is the one truth that I really want to grasp because I believe it will shift everything inside me. Once I know Your love then I will live my life in response to this great gift. I am done with lesser loves, the counterfeits, the unfeeling, the passionless, the dead. Lodge this love of yours inside of me so that I will never forget it. Come Jesus, come and show me the honesty of your affections for me. Wrap it around and around me until it covers everything. Until it needs to start seeping inside my flesh so that it can't escape. Your love is not an idea or a concept. It is real and alive and full of life. And I need it. I don't think I can survive without it. I don't want to survive without it. It is the true reality I can no longer ignore. Nor do I want to. It is time for the real and eternally things to capture my heart. Let it be so Lord. Let it be so.

Beautiful Mama to be...

Recently I was lucky enough to get away for a weekend with some special girls of mine. We've been friends for years and it is always a joy to spend some quality time together. One of them, Jenna is expecting this November! I can't wait to meet this little one. One afternoon we took some shots of her and the baby. She is going to be an exceptional mama and I can't wait to see her in action!! Love ya tons dear one!!

Pretty Sister...

My little sister is going to be leaving on a journey in just a few short months! Not exactly sure how I will survive without her... Who will be my hangout buddy? Here are some shots I took of her recently. Enjoy!