Writing..

These past seven years I believe the Lord has been teaching me this lesson of sharing in others joys and victories. Especially when I may not have that joy yet. I can specifically remember years ago when things began to change in my friendships, it seemed to be all at once, I decided in my heart to rejoice in the blessings. And how that one moment has made all the difference. There was no way I wanted to become bitter and just dwell in my sadness. Not to say that there haven't been times or seasons of sadness and probably some anger. It can be hard seeing others get something you desire. But I always remember thinking, I don't want what I don't have to steal my joy or the joy I can have for others. The hardest part for me is how blessing in another's life changes the relationship. I don't know why it does but that is how its been for me. I know this is an area where if I let it, it would create much anger and bitterness in my heart towards my Lord. But that pains me even more to know and that is why I made the decision to share in others joys. My heart may be pained but I cling to the promise that there is a plan, a reason. None of what is happening is by chance but is rather molding me into a person I was made to be. And there are many secret joys yet to be uncovered in my life. And those friendships or relationships that change along the way, somehow He even supplies enough grace for that. It is good to know I have a Father who is kind and gentle with my heart and spirit. I have many questions but He always embraces me when I don't understand. And that is enough. So I continue to choose to rejoice with those who get a blessing; otherwise I miss the joy and His presence about me to ease the ache.